Why does my spouse want to wring my neck?

A frequent question for church planters is how to balance church and family. I generally give a two part answer: one answer for the first year of planting, another answer for all the years after that. In the first year I recommend working all out, especially at gathering, in hopes of getting the church to an attendance of 100 or so in the first year-two years at most. This would make all the other things more simple. Which means that in the first year a planter has to get by on minimal family time. That probably means one day off a week and perhaps a night or two not in church stuff the rest of the week. This can work if a good plan is worked out beforehand and the relationships are strong. But after a year, a change must be made, regardless of how far along the church is. At this point, a pace must be set which allows for healthy living and family to last a lifetime. I recommend that families start by sitting down and making a big decision up front about lifestyle for the current season of family life: ie. how many nights/days working, days off, vacations, how many hours worked in a week, how many trips, how much time for personal recreation and renewal. Then AFTER the family decision is made then make the church plans and fill in what is left over. That way the family gets in first. Generally, if the family gets in first balance won't be a problem. Of course, all this only works if everyone sticks to the plan. When the time is filled up the answer to the next request has to be "I can't- my schedule is all filled up."